Deadly dangers of ADHD drugs
Deadly dangers of ADHD drugs
Dear Friend,
For years, I've warned you about the potential dangers of the drugs that kids are being pumped full of to combat the fake "disease" called attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). And now, finally, there are some other doctors who've found a link that could be frightening enough to curtail the use of these drugs.
A new study funded by the FDA and the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) claims that kids taking ADHD drugs such as Ritalin and Adderal are many times more likely to die suddenly and for unexplained reasons that kids who aren't on these drugs.
I've been telling you for some time how dangerous these drugs are. But this new announcement about links to unexplained sudden death is by far the most extreme. And as sad as this is, it's hardly surprising. Ritalin is no lightweight narcotic -- it's a schedule II controlled substance (like cocaine) and the possible consequences of taking this drug include heart attacks, growth problems, and psychosis.
And now you can add death to the list.
The speculation among doctors is that taking these stimulant drugs routinely increases the heart rate and has an impact on the cardiovascular system.
And yet, in spite of these links to possible death, the FDA doesn't feel the need to toughen up the prescribing guidelines for ADHD drugs. That inaction alone needlessly and irresponsibly exposes the more than 2.5 million kids in this country taking Ritalin-like drugs to danger.
In typical half-measure fashion, the FDA even held a press conference to downplay the importance of the findings -- yes, the findings of a study that the FDA themselves helped to finance. The agency claimed that the study was too small to allow far-reaching conclusions to be drawn, and that the incidence of sudden death (less than one in 10,000 kids) was too rare to limit the use of drugs to treat a "serious illness" like ADHD.
The fact that even one child has died as a result of taking dangerous drugs to treat an entirely fictional "disorder" is an utter and complete outrage.
You should look at these results the way I have -- legitimate proof of the dangers of all ADHD drugs. The suspicions have been there for years (and they weren't just mine). But the drug companies are making too much money, and too many people in the medical community have bought into the lie of ADHD. All I can do is spread the word to you and hope that parents get the word.
Labels: Deadly dangers of ADHD drugs
Are You a Newly Married Husband Having Marital Sex Problems?
By Calle Zorro
If you are a young man who has recently joined the ranks of married men, then the odds are high that you're about to run into significant marital trouble...especially if your new wife isn't very experienced in the realm of sexual expression.
For some new husbands, sexual problems pop up right away -- sometimes even before they get back from their honeymoon.
Here's one common reason why...
Many a young lady has been programmed for nearly two decades by her mother and other "well-meaning" women that "sex is bad", "men only want one thing", etc.
Further, many a young lady grows up hearing the women in her life complaining about the relationship they have with their husband -- bombarding her highly impressionable young female ears with all sorts of negative opinions, non-useful perspectives, and sometimes downright harmful beliefs about sex and men.
Well, many things of a sexual nature are inappropriate for a young girl and a good mother will wisely guide her daughter away from and around such things.
After she gets a older, a good mother will counsel her daughter that being unmarried and promiscuous has enough negative consequences that she is best served by avoiding sex.
However, sex IS completely appropriate within a marriage and not only is it appropriate, it's a good, healthy, and important part of a marriage.
Unfortunately, most new wives never had a mother or other female figure who helped them make this distinction...all the young lady got was, "Sex is bad".
And, to make things particularly insidious, the new wife's belief systems are mostly if not completely subconscious.
Rare is the new wife who will consciously think about her new relationship with her husband and compare, contrast, and consider that with her own carefully thought out beliefs.
Rare is the new wife who will put real thought into her needs, her husbands needs, her communication methods, his communication methods, etc and come up with a consciously rational perspective and approach to her marriage.
Instead, she finds herself mentally grappling with and struggling with an unconscious battle between "I'm supposed to have sex with my husband" and "Sex is bad".
Significantly, this unconscious battle that this new wife is battling is so real - even though it is unconscious - that she will literally begin manifesting health problems. The most common ones being extreme tiredness, pain during intercourse, and yeast infections.
So, what does all of this mean to you as a new husband?
It means you are faced with a challenge...a challenge that will either make or break your marriage.
Specifically, the challenge is for you to LEARN how to create a safe, secure, trusting environment wherein you gently LEAD your new wife into that place where she can comfortably express her sexuality and know that it's the proper thing to do in her marriage...not only for her husband's sake, but for her sake as well.
And, you are a man. You are made by God to take on challenges, to establish goals, to achieve, accomplish, and overcome. You can do it.
Really, it's an honorable and exciting journey that you get to take you and your new wife on...the destination being one of open and exciting sexual expression by both you and your wife.
Enjoy both the journey and the destination!
Copyright 2009, Article by Calle Zorro of NymphomaniacWife.com. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if a resource box pointing to the following websites is included with it.
Husbands who want a happier, more sexual marriage relationship, get this help: http://www.NymphomaniacWife.com
Husbands who are doing everything they know to do and still there is lack of intimacy in their marriage relationship, get this help: http://www.MoreSexForMen.com
Labels: Are You a Newly Married Husband Having Marital Sex Problems?
Would you like to improve your sex life
At some point in a couples’ relationship they may feel, for any number of reasons, that their sex life isn't as satisfying as it could be. Sexual problems are so prevalent, that nearly two thirds of all men and women will experience them at some time during their lives.
Common sexual problems include:
• One partner desiring sex more than the other partner
• Inability to communicate what turns each other on
• Experiencing pain during intercourse
• Allowing outside stressors to interfere with our ability to become sexually aroused
• One partner desiring a style of sex that the other partner is uncomfortable with
• Orgasmic difficulties
When Sex Interferes With Your Relationship:
Bob and Annette are in their early 50s, married for three years, and sleeping in separate bedrooms. They haven’t had sex for over six months. They are suffering from both marital and sexual problems that are separate and interrelated. Dara and Ken are newlyweds in their early 20s. Both are sexually inexperienced and having difficulties making love due to this. Their sexual problems have affected their relationship, and they are both overwhelmed with disappointment, guilt, and anxiety. Lucia and Bruce are working parents with two young children. Although they love each other and their life, they find little or no time for romance or intimacy. They haven’t made love for several months. Bruce is angry with Lucia and feels she pays more attention to the children than to him. Lucia tells Bruce he is selfish and has no idea how difficult her life is. These are a few examples of the circumstances that threaten to derail otherwise healthy unions, and ultimately bring couples into counseling with sexual issues.
Sexual problems need not damage your relationship. Working together we will create a plan to improve your sex life. My approach includes:
• Validation: It’s important to remember that everyone's sex life is individual and there is no objective standard every woman or man needs to meet. If your sex life works for you and your partner, then you should not worry about what everyone else is doing. If, however, you feel dissatisfied with your sex life, in any way, you may want to consider exploring the causes.
• Assessment – Exploring the causes: Are your sexual issues a by product of other problems in the relationship, or are they purely sexual or technical in nature? Once these answers are discovered we will create a plan to change and improve the way in which you relate sexually.
• Education: Mars & Venus. Men and women tend to define and experience sex in different yet interrelated ways. Women's sexual response tends to be a complex blend of emotional and physical stimuli. It is ultimately a way to feel more intimately involved with their partner. Men tend to be less comfortable with intimacy and more at ease expressing themselves sexually. It’s their way of feeling close and connected.
• How past messages can affect our sex life. We are greatly affected by the early messages we received from our family, our religion and our culture. From a very young age we are bombarded with images and notions of what our bodies look like and how we act sexuality. To truly enjoy sex, we may need to free ourselves of preconceived ideas about beauty and sex and learn what feels good to us and what we enjoy. Together we will discuss and explore your feeling about sexuality, teasing out any issues that could be holding you back from experiencing great sex with your partner.
• Create a recovery plan. Our consultation time is used as a living laboratory, a place where we can explore different styles, interventions and techniques. It’s time to make a conscious decision to recommit to each other and move sex higher on the priority list. Get creative with your sex life. Find new ways to put some fun, energy and excitement into your relationship. Give yourself permission to explore each other's fantasies any way you can. Communicate, play, have fun and be creative.
Labels: Would you like to improve your sex life
When Sex Leaves the Marriage
By TARA PARKER-POPE
Is your relationship still filled with sparks? (Lauren Fleischman for The New York Times)
Why do some couples sizzle while others fizzle? Social scientists are studying no-sex marriages for clues about what can go wrong in relationships.
Married men and women, on average, have sex with their spouse 58 times a year, a little more than once a week, according to data collected from the General Social Survey, which has tracked the social behaviors of Americans since 1972. But there are wide variations in that number. Married people under 30 have sex about 111 times a year. And it’s estimated that about 15 percent of married couples have not had sex with their spouse in the last six months to one year, according to Denise A. Donnelly, associate professor of sociology at Georgia State University, who has studied sexless marriage.
I recently spoke with Professor Donnelly about how much researchers really understand about no-sex marriages. Here’s our conversation.
Is there any indication that the sexless marriage is becoming more common? Or are we just hearing about it more?
I suspect that we just hear more about it. Back in the days before reliable birth control, having a sexless marriage was one way of limiting family size. Those were also the days when women were not supposed to enjoy sex and often used it as a bargaining tool in their marriages (because they were socialized to do so). Plus, unhappy couples (who are less likely to have sex) were more likely to stay together because of social expectations, or because they had children they were raising.
Why does a marriage become sexless? Does it start that way? Or does sex fade?
The answer to that one is both. Some of the people in our sample never had much sex from the beginning, while others identified a particular time or event (childbirth, affair) after which sex slowed or stopped. Some people become accustomed to their spouse, bored even, and sex slows. For others, it is the demands of raising a family, establishing a career, and mid-adulthood. And there are people who have very low sex drives, and may even be asexual. They may have some sex with their partners to begin with, but it becomes unimportant to them (and usually not so unimportant to their spouses). These folks may also be dealing with guilt, issues with the human body, or feel that sex is “dirty” or only for procreation. A small number of couples showed a mixed pattern, where they would have periods of “feast” and of “famine.”
Are couples in sexless marriages less happy than couples having sex?
Generally, yes. There is a feedback relationship in most couples between happiness and having sex. Happy couples have more sex, and the more sex a couple has, the happier they report being. But keep in mind that sex is only one form of intimacy, and that some couples are fairly happy (and intimate) even without sex. In my 1993 study, I did find that people in sexless marriages were more likely to have considered divorce than those in sexually active marriages. There is no ideal level of sexual activity — the ideal level is what both partners are happy with — and when one (or both) are unhappy, then you can have marital problems.
Can people in a marriage that has become sexless rekindle their sex lives?
Some do. But once a marriage has been sexless for a long time, it’s very hard. One or both may be extremely afraid of hurt or rejection, or just entirely apathetic to their partner. They may not have been communicating about sex for a very long time (if ever) and have trouble talking about it. Couples who talk over their sex lives (as well as other aspects of their marriages) tend to have healthier marriages, but it’s hard to get a couple talking once they’ve established a pattern of non-communication.
There are mixed opinions about what to do to rekindle marital sex. For some couples, it may be as simple as a weekend away from the kids, taking a vacation or cruise, or just having some time off, alone. Others may need help in re-establishing communication and may seek professional assistance. The sad fact is that there are few counseling professionals that deal with this issue. Often, marriage counselors focus on other aspects, rather than sex. While these other aspects may play a big role in sexual inactivity, talking explicitly about sex is essential.
Are people in sexless marriages more likely to get divorced?
In my studies, as well as others, people in sexless marriages report that they are more likely to have considered divorce, and that they are less happy in their marriages.
Some of our former respondents have kept in touch with me, and the happiest ones are actually those that have moved on to other partners. It may be that lack of sex is a signal that all intimacy in a marriage is over, and that both would be happier in other situations. I know that this may not be a popular idea with the religious and political right, but it may be a better solution than staying in a marriage that is hurtful and unfulfilling.
In sum, these situations are just so complicated. Each couple has to examine their specific histories, their motivations and goals, and whether it is worth it to them to work on putting sex back in the marriage. It can be a difficult task and require that people take emotional and physical steps that aren’t comfortable for them.
What else are you trying to learn about sexless marriages?
I’m hoping to begin some longitudinal work which follows couples over time, to try and understand better the processes they experience, how they make decisions, and how these decisions affect their future happiness. Ultimately, I’d like to know how those who were able to repair their sexual relationships did so.
Labels: When Sex Leaves the Marriage
Dr. Romance: Bored with your Sex Life?
Put Spice Back into your Marriage with Tips to Help when the Sex Gets Boring
By TINA TESSINA
Are you bored with your marital sex life? What can you do about it? Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D, psychotherapist and author of "Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage (Adams Media 2008)" offers tips to improve intimacy with your mate.
Q: Sometimes I feel sexually excited, but I don't always feel desire for my husband...In other words, I'd rather take things into my own hands. Does this mean there's something wrong or missing from our relationship?
A: Sure it's normal. It's more direct and easier to do it yourself, and there's nothing wrong with that. Keep in mind, however, that the easy route might not be the best route for your marriage. If you can direct that energy toward having sex with your husband, your marriage will benefit. Also, take a little time to think about whether anything is going on between you that's putting you off. It's better to talk about that directly than to avoid it and go off by yourself.
Q: My husband and I have been married for many years. Thankfully I have orgasms somewhat easily and consistently, but I don't always look forward to sex. Weeks can go by without me missing it. Is this bad?
A: It's normal in a long-term marriage for spontaneous sexuality to diminish and even disappear. Don't continue to expect sex to generate itself as your marriage becomes more familiar and comfortable. You need to begin generating the sexual energy with each other. Try creating a mood, making a way for the two of you to transition from daily chores and hassles to intimacy. You might want to cuddle on the couch or surprise him with a kiss. You both need a signal that tells your partner that it's time for sex.
Q: How can we make sex seem more romantic and less run-of-the mill? How can we recapture the passion we once had so many years ago?
A: The most important thing to do is to take the hassle out of it. Don't have high expectations for every sexual encounter. Develop a repertoire that includes:
1. Sex when you're tired.
2. Sex when you're rushed.
3. Sex when only one of you wants it.
Make it as easy as possible and get playful about it. If you can giggle and laugh together, you'll feel more connected. If you keep your sexual connection going, the big, romantic fantasy moments will happen every once in a while (an anniversary, while you're on vacation, and so on.) The key is to make it simple and easy to get together.
Q: If I fantasize about other men, does it mean something is wrong with my marriage? Should I tell my husband about my fantasies?
A: Fantasizing about other men is normal. Whether or not to tell your husband depends on your two personalities and preferences. Will he be intimidated and put off, or will he be excited about it? Sometimes fantasies can be used to enhance sex -- for example, a fantasy that he has stolen you from this other man could really get you both going.
Labels: Dr. Romance: Bored with your Sex Life?
Are You Spouses or Just Roommates?
By Jeanie Davis
Reviewed By Louise Chang MD
There's no drama, no fighting. You've been together for years, raised kids and pets. The love is still there, but the spark just isn't. As months drift into years, you realize: You're in a sexless marriage.
Most married couples don't really know what to expect of a long-term relationship, says Diane Solee, MSW, a former marriage counselor who is the founder and director of Smartmarriages.com. She is also director of the Coalition for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education.
"It's so normal to hit the doldrums. In a way, you should be smug about it," Solee tells WebMD. "You have a partner who is not bringing drama into your life. You're not going to alcohol or cocaine treatment classes. You are in a very good place. Realizing all that, your job is to get out of the doldrums. You may have gotten into a rut."
There's more at stake than simply boredom. Very often, couples are headed toward a bigger disconnect in the marriage — and possibly divorce, says Pepper Schwartz, PhD, professor of sociology, psychiatry, and behavioral medicine at the University of Washington in Seattle.
Schwartz is on the Health Advisory Board at WebMD, and author of several books including Prime: Adventures and Advice about Sex, Love, and the Sensual Years.
Signs you're in the marital doldrums: "You're leading parallel lives, and don't see each other anymore," she tells WebMD. "You tell everything important to your friends but not to each other. Those are really big problems, and you've got to tend to them."
A sharp tongue is a red flag of growing frustration in a passionless marriage, Schwartz adds. "If you're bitchy, if you treat each other with contempt, it's a warning sign. It may not happen all the time, but it happens often. It's because people start to feel neglected, disappointed. They had expectations of what marriage should be like, and this is not what they'd hoped for."
In fact, boredom is very often a cover-up for anger and disappointment, Schwartz explains. "Those deeper feelings have to be dealt with. I'm not talking about deep therapy; it can happen in one or two visits. But there has to be a refocusing on the relationship... a renewal of what this marriage is supposed to be."
The Anatomy of Love
First step: Be realistic. If you're looking for the swept-off-your feet sex of those first few years, dream on. And a new partner certainly isn't the solution. Three years later, you'll have the same sizzle-less marriage you have right now.
"The initial passion of any relationship changes after 18 months," says Sallie Foley, MSW, director of the Center for Sexual Health at the University of Michigan. She is the author of Modern Love and Sex and Love for Grownups.
"It moves from the romantic and exciting to an attachment kind of loving, fondness," Foley tells WebMD. "That gotta have it, gotta have it feeling is gone."
Take stock of what you want, she advises. If you want a sex life, then commit to making it happen, Foley says. "Not everyone wants a sex life as they head into last third of life. But AARP studies show that 65% remain sexually active."
Put aside the romanticized, silver-screen notions of sex, Foley says. "The majority of people your age are having good-enough sex. Occasionally, they have sex that knocks it out of the ballpark. But they're having sex regularly. They're getting into bed, hugging and touching, canoodling as I call it, and they're doing it on a regular basis."
You've also got to set aside negative attitudes about your spouse. "You have to give up fantasy notions that he or she is suddenly going to be 20 pounds lighter with no cellulite. You have to decide, 'This is what I want, how do I proceed,'" she advises.
Then, have "the talk" with your spouse. You have to be willing to say this to your partner: "We need to jazz up our sex life. We have fallen into some bad habits. I'm not going to settle for this level. We need to have sex, the same as we do other things that are important to us. We have to set aside time for it.'"
He's Just Not Up for It?
If your partner is unwilling, here's your dialogue: "We need to go for a brief round of counseling to get our priorities straight. I'm not willing to settle for a relationship where you sit in a chair, pop a few beers, and our sex life is over."
The stereotype of grumpy old men exists for a reason, Foley explains. "With aging comes an increase in depression and irritability. Women complain to me — I was ready to try these things, but I couldn't get my partner to do it."
Often, the irritability and crankiness is actually masking anxiety and depression. If your partner is downright snarly about it, then you've got to stand your ground. "This isn't the kind of thing in this day and age that people live with," she says. "Our parents or grandparents may have lived that way, but we don't anymore."
With therapy and the right medication, the irritable anxiousness and depression can disappear. If your partner won't go to counseling, then you need to go alone, she says. "Counseling can help you figure out strategies to help yourself."
Put Sex on the Schedule
If you're both on the same page, it's time you put sex on the schedule. Think of it as exercise, your regular workout — whatever time of day you choose. After all, sexual health is an important part of general health, Foley says.
"It's a very healthy thing for a partnership, there's no question about that," she tells WebMD. "People who have sex tend to feel closer, more intimate."
When you're over 40, there's definitely a "use it or lose it" aspect to sex, she adds. "That means you have to do it every day. You have to be committed to intimate time together. That doesn't mean every single time you take off your clothes and have sex. But set aside time just for the two of you."
Fall in Love Again
Outside the bedroom, you must make time for each other. "If you're bored, you can figure your partner is probably bored, too," says Solee. "Think what would put excitement into your life. Take responsibility for doing something about it. You really owe it to yourself."
Take a cooking class together, take up kayaking or dancing — or sign up for a sex workshop, she advises. "Share each other's interests. Find new interests together. Single people can follow their own interests. You don't want to send your partner off to a class alone. Mother Nature abhors the doldrums, so don't let someone else fill it."
Trying something new requires a lot of focus — and that's good for your sex life. "It's like when you had kids, or bought your first house. People actually fall in love again."
Between the sheets, keep things spontaneous and fun, she says. "The phone is turned off, the dog is behind the door. You get into bed with an attitude of good will. You don't have to have an attitude of 'complete hot.' That's a big misconception."
Allow each other plenty of sensual time to get warmed up. When you're over 40, foreplay is important in building arousal and desire. "When we're 20, it's all pretty straightforward — desire, arousal, orgasm. After age 40, you need to give arousal more time. You get into bed, start doing it — then you start feeling some physical arousal. That increases your desire, which increases more arousal."
Also, your mind-set changes. "As men get older, they get more focused on eroticism," she says. "They're much more interested in pleasure, in having the connection. Women start asking for what they want."
Couples should also develop a "sexual style," Solee tells WebMD. "Most people think that if they've found a lover and soul mate, the sex will be great. Early marital sex is essentially sex with a stranger. This is about letting your partner know you, and getting to know them, intimately. Marital sex can be hotter if you can develop an intimate sexual style with your marriage partner."
Vibrators and Pills
Tools and toys are important, too.
Men: Viagra, Levitra, or Cialis can be effective in men with erection problems, but if you have certain medical conditions or are taking certain medicines, you may not be able to use them.
Ladies: Don't fret if you're not feeling desire right away. Enjoy the process of becoming aroused. A vibrator can help with that, she advises. "After menopause, they may need a more intense vibration, at least initially, if a woman hasn't been sexual in awhile. She may need a vibrator."
If vaginal dryness and pain are issues, look into topical lubricants and moisturizers, Foley adds.
Many vaginal products contain estrogen (which can come in cream, vaginal ring, and vaginal tablet formulation), which helps with dryness, irritation, and muscle tone in the area. If you cannot take estrogen, products like Replens or K-Y Jelly can help with lubrication.
Try a Marriage Retreat
Keeping your marriage on track — sexually and otherwise — requires good communications skills, Solee adds. A therapist can guide you toward improving those skills, possibly recommending a marriage retreat.
"It's not our differences that pull us apart, it's how we handle them," she tells WebMD. "You need to really listen to your partner in a way he knows you love and respect him. Take a marriage cruise or retreat or a wilderness workshop. Learn to disagree in ways that breed joy and intimacy." Marriage education classes are also held in local community centers, churches, and military bases, she adds.
Some workshops are intense group therapy for couples. "Some are enrichment weekends — you learn to massage each others' feet, or talk about sensuality. It depends on how deep your rift is, whether a therapist would recommend a lighter or deeper workshop," Schwartz says.
Group therapy lets you see the relationship more clearly. "Often, people find it easier to give empathy to other people than to each other," she explains. "But once empathy is in the room, it kind of fills the room. It helps you give it to each other."
You learn from other couples in the room, Schwartz adds. "Some people give voice to something you haven't been able to. It's different if it doesn't come from an authority figure. It becomes a discussion among equals. Other people can see things you may not see. If everybody looks at you and says, 'Why are you being so hard on her?' everything changes. You suddenly see, whoa, I am."
Labels: Are You Spouses or Just Roommates?
How To Keep Your Sex Life Alive in Your Marriage
By Sheri & Bob Stritof, About.com
Sex doesn't have to get boring in marriage. As the years go by, your sex life should get better. Here are some ways to keep your marriage and sex life fresh.
Communication is the key to a healthy and active sex life in a marital relationship, so talk with one another more!
Share with one another your sexual desires.
Talk with one another about your expectations concerning lovemaking. False or unmet expectations can hurt your marriage.
Sexual intimacy is a continuing process of discovery. True intimacy through communication is what makes sex great.
Sex in a long lasting relationship can deepen and become a richer experience. No matter how many times you have made love to each other, the wonder and awe of mutual attraction can still be there.
When life becomes busy, and schedules are hectic, plan for sexual encounters with one another. Make sex one of your main priorities.
Try to set the mood in advance.
If you want to have good sex at night, start the foreplay in the morning.
Let your spouse know you care and are thinking about him/her throughout the day by notes, e-mails, phone calls, hugs, etc.
Tips:
Being grouchy all day or ignoring your spouse during the day hurts your chances of having a positive lovemaking experience that evening.
Remember that sex isn't going to be perfect each time. Don't compare your sex life to the ones you see in movies or on television.
Recognize that abstinence now and then can be beneficial to your relationship if you start to lust after one another more.
What You Need:
Good Communication
Love for Each Other
Willingness to Make Time for Each Other
Labels: How To Keep Your Sex Life Alive in Your Marriage
